Lollipops can be sticky once you lick them. Girls are much the same way.
In golf, the closer you get to the hole; the bigger it gets. Unless, you have a downhill side-hill putt; then it gets smaller again.
With my memory, Everything I do is original.
Awareness has no dimension.
They all laughed when I came up with the peanut butter and jelly restaurant. After losing a half of a million dollars, I still don’t see what was so funny.
It’s hard to outlive the stubborn.
Corners are hard to clean. But, they are comforting to sit in.
Why is it that in the game of life when you call a time-out the clock keeps ticking?
It’s easier to flip a pair of dimes on end, Than to flip a paradigm on end.
My life is balanced. However, The scale I’m using to measure must be broken.
What am I missing? Is there some game being played, Where the person with the most money wins a prize? What is the prize?
The longer I live, The more I ask, "How much less, Can I possibly know?"
Which came first? Corn chips or smelly socks?
I have contemplated Going to see a career counselor. But I thought I might want to be a career counselor. So, I counseled myself. And I decided I did not need to go.
We need to be reminded, It’s ok not to be connected Every minute of the day.
If you add one thousand zeros together You still get zero. But if you add a zero to one, You get ten times as much.
Passing gas Is such a wonderful system To relieve pressure in the belly. I wish there was a corollary process for our heads. Some kind of mind fart.
For something that cannot be seen, The wind sure can make a lot of noise.
I have the answer, But I forgot the question.
A purple cow would be cool. But, I would send back a purple steak.
I once wrote a book, With only the punch lines, Of my favorite jokes. No one found it funny.
If between two moments, There are an infinite amount of moments. It would take a long time, To live moment by moment.
All of the stuff we know Is so overwhelming. But all of the stuff we do not know, Makes the stuff we know, Underwhelming.
What is the aging process? Other than it makes putting socks on in the morning, The most difficult task of the day.
I like to study the history, Of historians, that study history.
I tried lifting my leg and peeing. But, it made it difficult to keep my balance.
The sense of smell is received through our nose. The sense of taste is received through our mouth. The sense of touch is received through our skin. The sense of sight is received through our eyes. The sense of sound is received through our ears Where is the sense of humor received?
Had a funeral the other day. The yogurt in our fridge had expired.
If the fat spread around my middle is my spare tire. Then, where are my original equipment located?
Should confidence be influenced by outcome?
When people say, “I’m not in it for the money.” Let’s assume, for now, that they mean it. I guess we can then also assume, they are in it for love. But money cannot buy love. Which proves – nothing.
So many layers in the universe. Currently I’m looking at a star, And a cloud, And a tree, And the grass. All in the same universe. All in their own layer.
Trump is a wackpacker, but is not as entertaining as Beetlejuice or Wendy.
Government should help keep obstacles out of the road to allow abled people to make their journey. And should help pick up those that have fallen.
I wonder if the probability of existence is the same as the probability of non-existence?
How come when we look at events in the past, We say, “that’s not how I would have done it.” But we just standby and watch events, In the present?
How would the person I’d like to be, Do the things I’m about to do? - From The Aladdin Factor
My brother, Barry, sent me a jacket that was too big for him. So I sent him back a pack of XXXL rubbers and said he could have them, They were to small for me.
It’s really not fair to have everything, And still have angst.
Angst, Even the spelling gives me the heebee jeebees.
At a member guest golf tournament, someone told me and my partner we need to defend the field. I said, "Of course." "We will defend the field like a rubber with a hole in it."